My aunt did an awesome job organizing everything and the accommodations were more than fitting for everyone. After the bus ride north, I started to feel a lil weird though. Here I was surrounded by some of my absolute favorite family members; laughing, talking, and catching up- but all I really wanted to do was put on my headphones and tune out. Huh?!?! Weirdo.I started to really retreat even more on day two. I noticed that communication with my mom was even more limited and how I had the desire to show up to our food gatherings really late. I couldn't quite put my finger on the emotion, but I just needed some breathing room. I wasn't meaning to be anti-social or quiet. I just couldn't handle it all at the same time. It was all too overwhelming and I needed some space.
I'm realizing that in my lil single bubble, though I spend a lot of time with friends...much of my time is spent alone in the company of only myself. I think that all of the sudden "family unity" threw me off. I found myself having to reason (WITH MYSELF THAT IS!) to be more inclusive and to stop curling up in my little cell phone swiping-Beats by Dre-bubble.
However, though I needed to be more open to people asking me questions and simply being around; I also cannot neglect the care that my soul required. I need time to pull away and decompress. I now know that it is vital to my ability to socially interact with others. It's not selfish. It's just how I must function in order to be able to take care of myself.
Do you you ever need to pull away from people in order to remain sane? Do you think that it's selfish or part of how you survive?
I think it's totally cool to pull away. In fact, for me, I need it. When you engage with a lot of people, I just always think you can take on some of their energy and their life conflicts and stress. I need some time to sort through all of that and shake it off so I'm feeling you...sometimes I just need some back up off me time. Mhmmm!
ReplyDeleteExactly Michelle. It might feel rude to others and possibly seem anti-social, but you have to gage how much you can take. Thumbs up!!! :)
DeleteI definitely understand because I am a Introvert and truly understand what it means to be an introvert. People think introvert are shy and and not out-going. Which is not true. Introverts get energy from being alone. Extroverts get energy from being around other people. Introverts can be around people, enjoy it, and sometimes desire it. It's just that after a while we need time alone to re-energize. Vice versa for extroverts. You know what we always said about each other, so I think you were exercising that tendency at the time and that was fine.
ReplyDeleteThat is an awesome point DaFran. Introverts sometimes just need to pull away to revive their energy level. That is exactly what was happening with me. While I do feel that I am an extrovert, there are STRONG introvert tendencies that pop up in my life. Because they are relatively dormant, I think that they catch people off guard when they show up! I appreciate your introvert personality and I enjoy it when you make me crack up laughing when the mini extrovert inside of you that jumps out and says "hello!". :)
Delete