My aunt did an awesome job organizing everything and the accommodations were more than fitting for everyone. After the bus ride north, I started to feel a lil weird though. Here I was surrounded by some of my absolute favorite family members; laughing, talking, and catching up- but all I really wanted to do was put on my headphones and tune out. Huh?!?! Weirdo.I started to really retreat even more on day two. I noticed that communication with my mom was even more limited and how I had the desire to show up to our food gatherings really late. I couldn't quite put my finger on the emotion, but I just needed some breathing room. I wasn't meaning to be anti-social or quiet. I just couldn't handle it all at the same time. It was all too overwhelming and I needed some space.
I'm realizing that in my lil single bubble, though I spend a lot of time with friends...much of my time is spent alone in the company of only myself. I think that all of the sudden "family unity" threw me off. I found myself having to reason (WITH MYSELF THAT IS!) to be more inclusive and to stop curling up in my little cell phone swiping-Beats by Dre-bubble.
However, though I needed to be more open to people asking me questions and simply being around; I also cannot neglect the care that my soul required. I need time to pull away and decompress. I now know that it is vital to my ability to socially interact with others. It's not selfish. It's just how I must function in order to be able to take care of myself.
Do you you ever need to pull away from people in order to remain sane? Do you think that it's selfish or part of how you survive?
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